i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
