Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
