I think I died a long time ago.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Come share oat with me in your robe
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Randomize
