she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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