did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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