i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
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