More tranny stories later!
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
