Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
