Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
