dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
