brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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