Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
