Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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