i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
