Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
