Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
The air was thick with penises
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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