I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
There's even glitter on my cock...
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