Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Randomize
