How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
