Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
