Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
