She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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