You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
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