never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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