Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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