He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize