The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Randomize
