Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
And then my night got REAL pukey
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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