I think my fart just growled at me.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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