i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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