I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
