i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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