yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
