party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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