Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
