i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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