everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
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