Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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