The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
