I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
