Who wears a wallet chain?!
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
