hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize