He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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