so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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