I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
