Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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