She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
