guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
