My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
