so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
