you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
