I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
