Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
