i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
