Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
