She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
