Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Randomize
