Just fell off a train. Bad.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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