so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
