Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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