Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
