Who did Billy Mays play for?
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
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