so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Even my vagina gasped.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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