Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
