why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
