How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
