There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
