My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
